Above the bridge
Above the bridge
Episode 129 NIKKI SOTELO ( Model )
Ever wondered what it was like to be a club celebrity during the MySpace era? Join us as we catch up with Nikki Sotelo, a true icon of Hawaii's vibrant club scene. Nikki takes us back to those unforgettable nights, sharing stories of club nights and the magnetic energy that surrounded her and her friends. Her influence is still felt today, with heartwarming anecdotes from fans who remember her status as a club celebrity. Together, we reminisce about the electric atmosphere of past parties and the evolution of nightlife culture.
Our conversation takes a turn as we explore how clubbing has transformed with the rise of social media and dating apps. The dance floors of yesteryear offered a balance of dancing and drinking—a stark contrast to today's digital interactions. We reflect on how this shift affects the younger generation, who now navigate a world where real-life adventures have been swapped for virtual connections. The topic of modern parenting arises, highlighting protective instincts and the challenge of fostering physical social experiences for children in an increasingly digital age.
As our discussion unfolds, we delve into the dynamics of parenthood within the club culture. Nikki shares personal insights into parenting challenges and the balancing act between social life and family responsibilities. We touch on how becoming a parent can reshape one's identity, bringing unexpected joy and fulfillment. Insights into building genuine friendships in the nightlife industry are shared, along with stories of support and resilience. We wrap up with the joys of family gatherings and the importance of maintaining meaningful connections, both in and out of the club scene.
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Speaker 1:Hi how have you been?
Speaker 2:I know, I'm so busy, so busy, so busy know, um, I'm so busy, so busy, so busy.
Speaker 1:Okay, first off, I like see your nails, because you just posted you got them, did, and well, I did them myself. Oh yeah, I thought you got a holy shit. How do you like, how do you do that yourself? It's hard.
Speaker 2:no, well, I did. I don't know if anybody knows, but I did nails for like I don't know, like 10 years before. Well, like when I was younger, all right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't get how some of these girls nails are so straight and long and looks like claws, like how they wipe their ass.
Speaker 2:There's a way. I know that's the most common question is how? How do you wipe your ass? But I mean, realistically, I mean it's not. I guess the long ones it's not. I feel like you figure it out. There's people that with no hands, I mean yeah, that's true, that makes sense. No legs, they're legs, they're working out. I mean there's, there's a way. You gotta use a lot of toilet paper, gotta dab you got. No, you can't, dad.
Speaker 1:I mean you can't go cause you just gotta, you gotta a lot of paper, all right. Well, I've known you for a super long time and back in the day you were like one of the biggest kind of club celebrities here in Hawaii. If, if that, if that's a thing, um club celebrity.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, I didn't know that's a genre know, I think I just made it up.
Speaker 1:You did, but you guys, were like huge. No yeah, I remember you guys would roll up to O Lounge and you guys would come out the car, you and Chalene and like it was like, oh, all the cameras are out. It was like you guys were like celebrities and you guys would come in.
Speaker 2:Those were like the good old days. The MySpace was like. You guys were like celebrities and you guys are coming. The good old days, the my space days, yeah, those are, those are fun times, yeah. So you guys, I'm glad, I feel like I'm glad I grew up. I mean, we went out at the time where, like, going out was like so much more fun, less, oh yeah, yeah, you know, I mean like less things to try to be cool, you just did whatever you know.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god I totally want to talk to you a lot about that, because that's what we're kind of going through now. I um remember back in the day when you guys used to go go for us and one of my friends his son, was in high school and he was just blown away that I knew who you were. He's like you're friends with nikki satello. I'm like, yeah, she dances for our company. And he's like like, no, you really know her. Like if she's seen you out, she would tell you hi. I'm like, yes, you little shit, that's my. Hey, I'm cool too. Yeah, and he was just like blown away because you were like super big in his eyes and you guys were. You guys like were like the import scene. You guys are huge.
Speaker 2:I think this. I think the scene was popular like at that time. So like that's like, so I feel like equivalent. Like nowadays, like YouTube people, right, like that's. That would be like today, like oh, somebody's like YouTube famous, but back then it was like import models, go-go dancers, the clubbing scene was huge and like yeah, I feel like it's definitely not the same. Like who do we really like care about going out? Nobody, nobody cares yeah yeah, we're not. I think I don't feel like it's yeah, like you guys were.
Speaker 1:I mean all of us had a, had our own um niche, but at that time, like you said, gogo dancing was huge, like we would sell out our whole club because of who we had on on the go with stages.
Speaker 2:And now anymore, right, yeah, like it's not even a thing I was talking to so much. I talked to some people about that type of thing where it's like I feel like now, because of like youtube and all that stuff, it's like it kind of like it shifted, cause before there was no YouTube, there was like whatever, like MySpace, instagram or whatever, but like that's who you're like being a fan of Cause that's who you're on, but now people don't really care about that type of stuff. So, like, if you think about it, like kind of even like if you went to the club, like unless, like the the bottle girls aren't like. You know what I mean. Like it's not like they have a persona, it's just random people. Yeah, so there's no like. I don't know how to explain it. You know what I mean. Yes, I understand. Like that's not what our fan base is anymore. Yeah, like, no one's being fans of that. It's more so people are being fans of like youtube or tiktok or right, like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, back then the import scene was pretty huge and you guys were all about that and like hin would come down and it was like a thing and well, I was wondering like is it just a hawaii thing, or is the import scene like still popular? The mainland I don't even know. Yeah, it seems super washed out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was talking to somebody about work and somebody that was talking about building another website, like how I used to have before, and I was just like we're just going back and forth about if it would be the same. I'm like I don't feel. Like you said you could go to a car show, I'm like, no, I'm like I don't, they're not that popular. I mean, do you think that they are that popular? I feel like they happen, they exist, but like, is it like the in thing?
Speaker 1:I don't feel like it's not popular no, I don't, and that's the serious time. Yeah, and you guys like now, I feel like the car scene is more about the actual cars I mean it's just a car show, not like I'm going for.
Speaker 2:I feel like the import scene was, even before I got in, like like when I was in high school. It was so theatrical the booths would have girls, alcohol, cameras, crowds around it, like crazy theatrics, like girls making out like crazy stuff was happening to where I'm like oh my God, like this is like now. It's like so mellow.
Speaker 2:I feel like even like when they book you, I think now they're like you can't wear certain things now because they're like yeah, like I've heard, like there's like a dress code and like it's just really different now, yeah, I think also being politically correct, because there might be families there, right, so you can't oh, yeah, I don't know yeah, you can't take your kids to those old freaking car shows. Yeah, that's for sure, but I mean I feel like that that's what like. Now it's about cars.
Speaker 1:So I feel like now maybe it's more acceptable that there's like families there, but before that's like taking your kids to the club, like I'm going right because the car show is going to ratchet super yeah yeah, for us the car shows were always super cool because we could promote our event and then you guys would be a huge, big part of that because the import models that would come for the car shows that would were from the mainland. You guys were our link to book them, to go, go for our events and hold those things.
Speaker 2:I remember like the hin um after parties would just be stupid, packed and like it'd be a good night for everybody even the, the girls, the, even the girls in the mainland, like they were import models and everybody was like, even I was like that Like I like I was talking to one of my friends that I just like came close to she's like you know, I used to like like look up to you and I'm like I there was.
Speaker 2:I remember Jerry, like when I was in high school. I'm like on the computer like this girl's so beautiful and then I'm like, oh, my God, like she's my friend.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh, I get to dance with her. So like I get it. But yeah, I feel like that was like the people that you looked up to like, oh my God, like these are that's the celebrities. Like the models were not really. That's even when I was telling my friend, I'm like, I feel like even for like Instagram and stuff, I'm like I don't know. I feel like it's not in just like lingerie, lingerie, lingerie, lingerie. It's boring. People want lifestyle, they want outfits, they want real, they want right, like they want. There's so much more facets of just than just being like. It's almost. I don't know if I could talk about it. It's almost like porn. Yeah, like before there was like Jenna Jameson. Everything was glam, set up, was like all like um, more like you know the ad, like perfect, like a movie, right, like oh, now it's like your camera phone, real life like the nitty gritty, like you know what I mean. Like it's not about the glam stuff, like that. I think even with like the it with, like it's just different.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Yeah, I remember you guys would go go dance. How did you even get into go go?
Speaker 2:dancing, I don't. I broke up with my boyfriend, oh yeah. So I was a wait waitress and I broke up with my boyfriend, um, and I was like I, um, I was like Stan I don't remember Stan the photographer. He came into the restaurant I was looking at, yeah, and he was my longtime friend, and he was like hey, can I take pictures of you? And I was like, okay, because I just work with my boyfriend and I want him to want me back, so I want to take sexy pictures, so he sees it. I think this is when there was Facebook and I was like so he sees it on Facebook. And then he wants me back.
Speaker 2:And then the people at the there was a big meeting and they were all people for the car show, people at the there was a big meeting and they were all people for the car show. So I did the photo shoot and he's like everybody wants you to, you know, whatever. Like once I took that one picture. It was just done, like I. Then after that I just yeah, like I did one photo shoot and then I feel like it just snowballed and then I was like I don't know if I want to get back together and then I started modeling.
Speaker 2:I think it just all goes hand in hand right. Once you start yeah pictures you start dancing. So, um, yeah, I think I met, I just started going out and I feel like it's just natural thing you're a model, then you're a go-go dancer, right it was weird because we would be like Hanson and myself would kind of find girls, and especially Hanson, he always could pick out the good go-go dancers.
Speaker 1:but it was like, okay, there's a hot girl, ask if she wants to go go dance. And then we never stopped for once to think can she dance, or can she like can she handle dancing for a fucking hour? Cause you like it's work, you guys work. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:No, I, I honestly, I honestly I like I I love go-go dancing thing though I that time of my life, I feel like, was just I'm so glad that I had it. Like I mean I probably can't live that lifestyle anymore, like at this age, but I'm so glad I got to live it because I got to go out and have an excuse to like I I'm like I'm going to work but I get to go to the club, I get to be, I get to cut in line in the back. I like I get to get in, have fun, hang out with my friends, kind of get paid. You know what I mean. It's like it was just like a perfect balance, like I loved it. It was super good, it's great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought those nights were amazing and I don't know how you guys did it. I mean it was always fun because you guys would always come hang out with us, get a drink and then go dance and see, I feel like that was another thing too, like because you have to dance.
Speaker 2:I feel like it kind of kept you like a good balance. Like like, ok, you're drinking, but then you're like, ok, now you're going to sweat it all out. And then you're like, okay, now you're going to sweat it all out. And then you're like you know what I mean? Like it kind of kept you a little bit sober because you have to dance. So you drink, take a drink, then you would like dance, and then you're like, okay, I'm getting sober, drink something, you know. So it's like not too much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't want. I like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't think I, yeah, I don't think I ever felt, I don't know, I like, I like it, I liked it like I don't know. I never really thought like I mean, maybe I did, but I was drunk, I don't know. I feel like I didn't. I, I love seeing Cherry dance. Yeah, she's a great dancer. Yeah, see, so that I think. But I, but I also feel like we weren't really there for that. Yeah, I don't know, like you said, you guys booked girls and it wasn't about really like your dance skill and like gogo dancers weren't dancing like cherry yeah cherries that like you know it'd be, like you know she would.
Speaker 2:She's like could break dance. I don't like she's like. She's like a real, like dancer vibes, but I feel like everybody else kind of just danced, so it wasn't really that crazy. But yeah, I, I love dancing with cherry she's my, have you ever danced with a girl?
Speaker 1:that was like just horrible, like scrubbed out, couldn't dance. It was embarrassing.
Speaker 2:You don't need to say names, but I mean I don't know, I don't think I'm, I think I'm not really, maybe I'm just like not even like judge, like I'm not even judging, because I'm sure there is, but I don't think it's bad because everybody's kind of they're not. If everybody was cherry, then yeah, I would feel like you know what? Where I hated to dance at was gay parties because they dance so good, so like I would dance at like a gay event. The people on the dance floor are literally out dancing. They're like falling to the floor, coming up doing the splits. Like I'm like, oh my God, like you need to go on the station, like I don't even know why.
Speaker 2:I'm here right now. But like you know how they dance, so extra they like do the craziest. I'm like okay, why did you guys even hire me? I got to go home.
Speaker 1:They're over there trying to battle you guys.
Speaker 2:No, they're just. I'm like I felt embarrassed because the people in the dance floor like everybody's, like dancing better than me.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh my God, I got to go Shoot.
Speaker 2:I mean, at that time go-go dancing was huge and we would do those heavens events where we'd take 939 and take out all the the exotic dancers and then we would just have gogo dancers and those things used to rage out, yeah that was like, like, and that just goes to show you how powerful that scene was, that you could do something like that and it's and it is the whole like fan base thing, like what I'm taught, like you know, because every gogodan's had like a fan base. So that's why people are coming out. I feel like without that, I don't know, it's not the same, yeah, and also.
Speaker 1:yeah, I remember the the go, the heavens we were doing towards the ending of it. It was the quality of our go-go dancers when you guys first started Heavens.
Speaker 2:I feel like it was very, very like it was. The people were like girls, that were people, and then slowly but I think that's just kind of what happened is like gogo dancing kind of became mainstream, like it's over saturated, everyone's doing it, it's not. And so, like you said, like the quality, there's so many people that like now it's like you know who are these people? Like you don't even know, because I think even now, like I mean, they don't even have gogo dancers, but if they did, I probably wouldn't even know who they are.
Speaker 1:Right, you'd be like, yeah, so nowadays the club scene for me, in my opinion, sucks. It's been 100%.
Speaker 2:I think it's like that everywhere it's just clubbing is kind of dying out a little bit, and that's why I said like I'm so happy I had my moment in like the best fucking time ever. I just my clubbing days. The club went off, it was the best. Now it's not so much. I feel like it's more about like being mellow. People aren't trying to be crazy, right, or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do you think like they want to be is the reason, like I, I think, in my opinion, some of it has changed because of social media, like when we were younger, the club scene was to go out and you could meet people, you could see different people and talk to them. Now you don't have to risk it, you don't have to.
Speaker 2:No, okay, you're right, you don't have to like to meet someone, you don't have to go to the club. But before you had to, you didn't have that avenue of Tinder and whatever to get a date, you'd go out and you'd be like let's go find girls, let's go find guys, that's how you meet guys. Is the club right? Like, so you're like oh, I'm single, we're going to go to the club. Now it's like stay home right, swipe left. You're going to the club more like social with who you're friends with. You're not trying to like go talk to random people. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I thought it was because I mean that makes sense. But I thought maybe it was because of like everyone like recording. Now that, like, people care about their image and like how they look. So they're like you know what I mean. Like, oh, you know everyone's recording, right. So it's like I don't know. Like moving, yeah, yeah, like every, everything is like being I don't know. So everyone cares about how they're acting, how they look. Like, oh, I don't want to, whatever my boyfriend's gonna see, I don't know. Before it was like no, I don't think anything. I brought my phone out before. I think they just was like the only pictures were like my digital camera.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I brought my camera or um the event coverage yeah, I think for today I think today's generation, like you said, is all about image and status and for us we like for guys. It takes a lot for a guy to go up to a girl in the club and be like hi, I'm Thad, Can I buy you a drink? And she's with her friends and you can get shut down. You don't have guys now. They don't have to take that risk. They can just, like you said, be in their living room and swipe left or right without having to feel that embarrassment or put yourself out there and take a risk of getting rejected or looking stupid in front of everybody.
Speaker 2:So it's a lot less shameful.
Speaker 1:You know I mean, and how you, how you just explained that everybody's out for their image recording, like they're not in the moment.
Speaker 2:They're trying to show people that they're, yeah, people aren't exactly like they're gonna go because they want to record this and whatever like look a certain way, like I got bottle service. It's not like really living in the moment, they're just doing it for probably for that main reason it's not as fun yeah and I feel like to like, I don't know, there's like a lot of pressure on your image now because of social media.
Speaker 2:So, like girls and guys, so like guys are held to this crazy high standard now, where they have to pay for everything and do right, like now it's like, oh well, what do you have to offer me? And then even girls, I feel like with all the you know the face tune and the body, and like now, everything has to be perfect and you have to look good. So even for us, like you know, like it's like such a thing where now, okay, we have to spend all this money to look a certain way and we have to, like you know, I mean like every for every, I think for everything. It's like just a lot of pressure on stuff to where, I don't know, it seems hard to even like date or like right, like I just, I don't know, it just seems so difficult, like I don't, I don't know, I don't know it is do that, it is.
Speaker 1:And I'm with you. I'm super glad our younger experiences were way more fun and at first I would always talk to Hanson about it and I used to ask him is it because we're older, or is it really shitty now?
Speaker 2:Is it us? Yeah, it's both, but it's a good thing. It got shitty when we got older, so we can mellow out with the club scene.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just feel bad because these young kids they don't have fun like how we used to have fun, like their expectation of fun is at a level that we surpassed at that age. That was way more fun, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:Okay was way more fun in my opinion. Okay, so we were talking about to um, me and hansen, I think, um about. Do you remember when they had those?
Speaker 1:like events for teenagers.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, club, yeah, they were I forget what, but it was like for teenagers and they had them at the club. I forget what they were called. They were called something all age or age. No, no, no, not that I don't remember, but it was for kids. And then you would go to the club and your parents would let you go You're not drinking, but you would like freak dance people, and it was so crazy. But we were talking about how we don't know if they would ever have that Like, if that's even like, do you think they would even have that today? I don't think so, because it's so different now, like no one's gonna let their kids go to that, but before it was a thing like you would go to that and like be doing like almost kind of adult stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like you said, yeah but, like you said, they were dancing ratchet and being wild. Yes, it was bad, but nobody had iphones to record it all. Yeah, because if now, if they did, their parents would somehow find it, and oh, I mean it would yeah, no, the world wouldn't be.
Speaker 2:It would be unacceptable to the world. They'd be like look what's happening at this club, like you shut it down. This is horrible. Like there's just too much eyes like, and then people complain about everything. Yeah, yeah, I kind of I like it. I have a daughter. So, yeah, I was just gonna talk like I feel like I'm glad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm glad, I'm super glad like that.
Speaker 2:things are changing Right.
Speaker 2:Because, like even now, like a lot of my friends' kids. They're older than my daughter but you know I things are just different from when we were kids and obviously having girls like, but they're into different stuff, like they don't go out, they like to stay in, they like to be on the computer or their games, or you know, it's not like what we were doing. I was like catching the bus to the mall, to like numbers and stuff. I feel like people nowadays like no one's letting their kid catch the bus by themselves, like the mall and right, like I don't think anyone's going to go to the mall by themselves and like, like, do kids even do that anymore?
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, but I feel like I just was talking to somebody about this too, like how my daughter doesn't know what it is to catch bus. She's in high school and I, freaking, caught bus everywhere, like from kaneoi. We'd put our skateboards in our bag and we'd catch bus to alamuana, and we wouldn't catch bus home till night and we'd just be cruising around and then we're like sixth grade, seventh grade. There is no way my daughter could do that. She wouldn't know how to do that.
Speaker 2:I think I caught like crazy, like even like transfers, like I would transfer from this to this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all cut like so far, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like you could spend the whole day catching the bus.
Speaker 1:Honestly, it was an adventure.
Speaker 2:I feel like no parent it was. Sometimes we'd be like, let's see, let's go, you know, all over the place, but no parent now is gonna. I think I was catching the bus at nighttime too. I was definitely catching the bus at some really like sketch places, so I definitely no one's gonna let their kid do anything like that. So I'm glad though, but you know what it is like they don't even want to, I think. Like they're not. They don't want to or like do the stuff that we were doing, like they want to be on their pad or right, like they're interested in different stuff. It's not, which I'm glad I like that. You know. It's not about doing the weird stuff well, like with social media.
Speaker 1:Now it's different and you've been super huge on social media and honestly you always get I always get like a random request. I haven't recently, but I would get a random request from you. I'm like I'm her friend already and then it's like oh no, my shit got shut down. It's a struggle, man.
Speaker 2:If only I could just have kept everything, I'd have so many followers. But it's so hard to like have to start over and over and over again. But, um, I'm learning to not post things. I think social media now has changed drastically too. Everything's like almost offensive, I think, like you, everything gets flagged. Normal things get flagged Like compared to social media before, and the things I was allowed to post before like changed a lot. Like. I think even like something in a bikini could easily get flagged, oh okay. Even like something in a bikini could easily get flagged, oh okay.
Speaker 1:Because your social media is kind of advertisement for your website and stuff like that, at least before right, I don't have a website anymore.
Speaker 2:But yeah, before, that was the whole point. Right, like to yeah, like, have it work for you emotional wise.
Speaker 1:I think, with social media now, people kind of put up an image of themselves like if people look at your social media you look nothing like the person you are, in my opinion, like you're someone super down-to-earth, super cool, super fun to be around and talk to. But if you look at your page, you look like holy shit, she's a fucking model that no one like, she's not even going to want to give you the time of day kind of thing, not in a mean way, but just an unobtainable.
Speaker 2:It's weird, I don't think about, I don't think, yeah, I don't think about, I don't think that at all, yeah, I don't think that at all. I mean I wouldn't think that, but I mean I guess I get it. You know what too? I feel like I I'm so desensitized because, like I lived this lifestyle right For so long, like since I was a teenager.
Speaker 1:I mean, I hate to say it, but I think I might've been dancing before I even turned 21.
Speaker 2:Like I, remember when, I think, I had my 21st birthday at the club and they were like you were already coming to the club, so yeah, but I feel like so for me, like I can't. I was like I can't even grasp, like the. I don't even know what it's like the real life, cause I've been doing this type of stuff, so this is all I know. So yeah, like I don't. I guess I don't even look at myself like oh, like it's just normal to me, um, but I think I don't care, like I don't care, I know that everything's a certain way.
Speaker 2:So like, if somebody says, oh, you know, I heard, I'm like yeah, I know, like of course you're going to hear or you're going to think, because what else? But I guess I just don't even pay no mind. It's if I know you, I know you. And then if I don't, I feel like I kind of like that what you just said, because a lot of people tell me stuff like that, like oh, wow, like I didn't think that you know, or even girls, a lot of my friends now, you know, was like oh, like we're best friends now, but maybe when they first met me, like years ago, like oh, I thought you were whatever, and I'm like, you know, I, I like that because I'm like, oh, it's like, uh, it's. The bar is set low, so it's like easy to impress them. They probably thought, oh, I was probably a bitch or stupid.
Speaker 2:Can't carry a convert. You know what I mean. I'm like oh, okay. Well, that's good. Now I'm impressing them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even Sasha was so impressed how nice you were, because she never met you and she's like oh, nikki's super nice. I was like oh yeah, she's been nice forever, like it's not like just now. She's like oh, I never really met her.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh okay, I just assumed she did, you know, I mean yeah, I I mean like I don't know why anyone would think otherwise, but I feel like it's nice because people have I I guess like it's impressive because people have this image of you. They expect you to be I don't know, maybe a shitty person or not, like, think you're whatever. But then if you're nice and they're like wow, like so easy yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1:Um, how hard is it for you to keep up with social media like fuck, it becomes a job and it's all you always gotta to be kind of putting out there.
Speaker 2:I enjoy social media. I think if I didn't, I probably wouldn't be still like a lot of my friends that got older. You know, nobody really keeps up with social media. Really, I feel like everyone I honestly like I enjoy media in general, like I enjoy photos, videos, pictures. I like to edit things. I even like editing videos. I like like I just enjoy all the facets. So I feel like I love I love social media, like I like to scroll, I like to like see trends, even like outfits, but like I just I love social media. So I feel like it's not really a job, because I mean it is a job in a sense, but it's something that I like. So it doesn't feel like work to me. It feels like I like this, like I like to do this type of stuff. I think what I don't, what does feel like work to me, is like the other kind of work that I do, like I don't really enjoy that type of stuff. I could.
Speaker 1:I'd rather just do social media instead of, like you know, the spicy stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah, um, what I do enjoy, especially for you and because I know you is seeing your posts with your daughter and stuff and you're like me. We had a daughter and it changed you. I know it changed you. I've known a difference and my daughter changed me big time. We both changed huge and to see the mom that you are transcends anything, in my opinion, that you've ever done in the club or anything like that. I think how you are with your daughter and just hearing you talk about her, it's so refreshing.
Speaker 2:I can't even hold it in. I'm like, every time I'm like, oh my God. Like sometimes I feel like I can't even talk about her when I'm out, cause I'm like, oh, I'm going to get sad. But I'm so like, passionate about that too, like I feel like I never thought I was like.
Speaker 2:I feel like I was very selfish, as, like you know, just a single person Like I never really, of course, I wanted to have kids, but it was. I was like, later, later, later, you know, everything's me, me, me, me, me. And then, when I had my daughter, I just feel like I'm like, oh my God, like I just was meant to do this, like like I've never felt like this much love. I'm like it's so rewarding and like I just live for my. Like I don't know, I love it. I like I love everything about it. Like I love it, I love being a mom. I feel like, oh, I can't, I would have never thought I'd be a good mom, but I'm like I was born for this. Like this is my shit, this is like this, is it? Yeah For real.
Speaker 1:Were you nervous, Like when you're about to be a mom? Were you getting nervous? Or you're like, oh yeah, this is this, is it? No, not before.
Speaker 2:No, I was, I was unsure when I had to bring her home. I was like, what did I just do?
Speaker 1:Like, oh my God. What do I do with this thing when you bring them?
Speaker 2:home in the car seat. You're like, oh my God, like this valuable, like don't break it. Like, oh my God, Seriously, was so scared I was like I was just talking to my friend about it, like I didn't sleep a wink, like I was scared she was going to die. So like like stop breathing, that like I never slept, like I think my whole life, like I don't really sleep without her she still sleeps in my bed, but when she was a baby I would sleep like this, with one eye open and I would just constantly check if she was breathing, like because I didn't want her, you know, or I don't know. I was like like I just couldn't, like I would literally just constantly check with is she breathing? And they're like like, oh, sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm like what if she dies?
Speaker 2:So yeah, he was so nervous and I think everything is like um Hanson would always say like you're never really ready, right, like you're not ready to have a kid, but yeah it, it just happens have one. And then everything just falls into place and I I think to me like it's so rewarding because it's so hard. It's like the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but then that makes it so rewarding, because you're like, wow, you have to sacrifice, you have to do all this stuff. That just makes it like the best thing you've ever done in your life, Like it's just so good yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree, just like I don't have words to explain, like, how amazing it is, it's just so good, yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. I don't have words to explain how amazing it is, it's just great, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's cool because, since you've been coming out recently, I would have conversations with you about your daughter. I just see and feel a lot of the same things you're feeling. I was lucky for me that Hanson had a kid before I did, and because of that yeah, he, kind of by example, taught me how to navigate the nightlife industry while being a parent, and I mean his son was such a good dad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, because Hanson had Caleb such a long time ago. Right was during a time that we were crazy, yeah, yeah, like I feel like at that time, like I don't even think I was even, I couldn't even like grasp, like you know, but he was still doing the damn thing, you know, like doing both, like he still had Caleb all the time.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, and for me, I was blessed because of the, the role model that he was to me as a parent and to see his son. Now he's in college and he's the spitting image of Hanson, with the same values and maturity as Hanson. I mean, he's definitely not as crazy as Hanson, but he he's a good person, just like hansen. And, yeah, his example helped me navigate, being a dad. I remember we were about to flyer. We're gonna go, uh, and put up flyers for a club and hansen's son, yeah. But when flyers were the thing, hansen's son was by the window.
Speaker 1:I was talking about remember flyering yeah oh yeah, yeah yeah, I got stories about flyering but, um, his son was by the window of the house and he's like daddy, when are you coming home? And he was super young, like a little little kid, and I I remember hanson oh, daddy, gotta work I'll be home in a little bit and I just remember the sacrifices hansen made to provide for his son, but the time that he would allot to work and then come back and do his stuff. I always remember that and I always remembered to do the same. Like I'm gonna make time to make sure I get my work done and do my responsibilities, but make sure I'm locked in when I'm with my daughter and like work can't be a part of the priority. And yeah, flyering was nuts man. We would fly our cars all fricking night and I would stick it, step in, vomit or see people oofing while I'm putting a flyer on their car Like it was horrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I used to or see people oofing while I'm putting a flyer on their car Like it was horrible, oh my God. Yeah, I think I used to. I don't really remember. I have a really bad memory of like before, but I know I used to help flyer before too.
Speaker 1:But, being a mom, what were some of the things you noticed that you changed about yourself once you had your kid?
Speaker 2:oh my god, like every single thing is so different. I'm like, okay, so I'm such a different like I'm like two different people. I feel like, but um, because I don't know I'm, I'm just weird. But when I have my daughter, I'm just like I'm just another person, because I just I don't care about anything else. Like, even if I go to like a party, right, you know, the parents are normally like drinking on the side and the kid I'm like literally in the floor with the kids. Like if I'm going to a party with my daughter, I'm like I'm like in the mix, I'm with all the kids doing all the kids shit, like whatever. Then when I don't have my daughter, I'm like, let's turn. Like I just, I feel like I just keep it separate.
Speaker 2:I don't really I mean, of course, like if I have to, I'm lucky that I get that. Like right now, my schedule with her dad is like we split her, so I do have the time to be able. I feel like not everyone is blessed to be able to have time off, so then they have to figure out how to navigate with having their kids and then having fun. But for me, because I do get to have the time apart, that when I have my daughter, it's just I'm like tunnel vision. I'm just like everything's like for her. Like you know what I mean Like nothing.
Speaker 2:If I I have her, then it's like I'm not doing other stuff, I'm just like, even so, right now, our, my schedule with her dad is we split her two weeks on, two weeks off, um, which I feel like it was better because less goodbyes like yeah for her, because it was really hard. Kids and they're like their mom. I spent majority of the time with her when she was little, so it's like really hard for her. So I was like I don't want to keep giving her back and forth because she has to keep crying and saying bye, saying bye or whatever. So I feel like I liked that. I like the two weeks on, two weeks off and then when she gets in her zone, um, she can just like kind of forget about me, you know like yeah, just not be sad, but it's for my friends.
Speaker 2:They always say like they know, even like Hanson, it's like when I have my daughter, like I'm not doing anything, I'm not, like, don't call me, I'm not going out there, Like it's like night and day, and then the second I don't have her. Everyone's like hey, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Like let's go out.
Speaker 2:Like it's completely, completely different. But as soon as I get, I'm like what? Like you know, I have my daughter. Like I'm not doing you know what I mean like I have my kids. Like what are you talking about? No, I'm not going anywhere, that's good that you have a good balance yeah, well, everything changed.
Speaker 2:Like when I have, when I have her, I just feel like I focus on her. I'm just like helicopter mom. You know, I don't think, I'm not sure if that's a good thing, because I know it's bad, because you got to think about yourself. But I am lucky with the scheduling, like I said. Like that I have time to myself because if if I just had her, I'd probably be losing it if I was just focusing on her, the like you know, the whole time.
Speaker 1:But so I wanted to ask and this, this probably comes up like what? What do you? What are your feelings? Like, say, your daughter sees your instagram when she gets older or finds out the stuff that you've been doing. Like what do you think that conversation is going to be like? Or or is it to the point where you're not too worried about it?
Speaker 2:of. Of course this is what I think. Of course nobody wants no like. Of course I don't want my daughter to see or hear, and she will have, she will have to. I hope by then I don't live in hawaii when she gets old enough for people to talk about me. But like I have all these weird plans. I'm like I'm gonna move and then I'm gonna change my name. So then, because right now my name's mom to her when she like, and her last name. So I was like I had like all these times I move and I'll change my last name. So then she won't even know what my last name is and then they won't even know and it will never come up. But, um, I want to believe that you know when my daughter is old enough which I I don't even know it might come up before that that you know.
Speaker 2:I would have to say that. You know I had to make sacrifices to provide for her and I know that the things that I do are unconventional. But I am so grateful for all the opportunities, even though they're unconventional and a lot of people look down on it and it's not something that you know you want your kids to look at. It gave me the ability to stay home and raise my daughter and I didn't have to. You know, I got to work when she's sleeping or within a couple hours. Like I got to be able to do that and stay home with her. Not everyone gets to do that and still be able to provide for her and whatever struggles that I had encountered prior with her dad, like I got to make all the money, take care of everybody and I don't. That's a sacrifice that you have to make, so I do have to sacrifice that. Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's not a great job and I'm going to have to have talks with her and, yeah, she might have to be bullied or something. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Like people might say some things about me, but I hope that when the time is right, she'll have a good head on her shoulders to be like look, you know my mom did this. She spent time. I got to spend time with her. You know, like that's her childhood, I got to be there. I was there for everything. I'm forever always there, like, and that you know it's just something that I had to do, but it doesn't define me right like, yep, I agree, so I hope that she has like at that time, like we could like actually talk and I could be like, look, you know, mom had to do some things, but you know it provided us with what we have, and it's not something I'm proud of, but it's just, you got to do what you got to do and of course I wouldn't want her to do anything like that.
Speaker 1:Of course not, you know yeah, that honestly your answer just now probably impressed me way more than I thought it would.
Speaker 2:I think that it's a hard question on yeah, honestly, it's a hard question and I it's a hard question and I've thought of it a million different times and I have so much stupid things that I think of. But, realistically, all I can hope for is that, you know, I raised her to be to have a good head on her shoulders, for us to have the conversation and be able to be like, look, like these were hard times and you know we do things that we're not proud of but it got us by and like that's not something that I would ever want you to ever do, and hopefully, by the time she's old enough, I could have sacrificed enough to give her a different life to where she won't have to do anything like that, right, yeah, so Wow, I am very impressed with your answer.
Speaker 1:I feel like with kids and children children they can see through the bullshit, like any kind of stuff that that you've done or did, like your daughter knows you, like you said, as mom, like the kind of person you are exactly.
Speaker 2:She knows who I know I know that when I was, when I was a teenager, um, my mom's japanese. I don't know if that Asian plays anything, but it's so different. I feel like just the generation. My mom was not really like. She didn't hug me or tell me I love you or talk about stuff, or wasn't very open.
Speaker 2:And I feel like I think there was a point when I turned like I don't know 18 or 20, where I just was like mom, I need to talk to you and be able to tell you things, cause she was just like no, you can't do this. No, no, no, no, no. But then I was so bad but I was like mom, like I want you to know where I am, because if something bad happens to me, like I know I'm not allowed to do this. But I feel like we just absolutely no that way, cause if not I'm just going to lie and then whatever. Cause I was still kind of older, but I thought in my head like if my mom could have the conversation and we could be open, then it would be a different story, right? So if I could come to her and tell her like when she's old enough and have the conversation, instead of like lie and be like no, I don't know what you're talking about, what? No, you know like that would be a normal.
Speaker 2:I think in the back in the day answer is like you like lie to your kids and you don't talk to them about them and you just avoid everything and like, oh, don't listen to that, you know. I would want to just like actually have the conversations and say you know like, say what it is and say what I hope can become of the future. But I think if you can just be a little bit more right, like have the conversations, and maybe it won't be so bad, because my mom didn't like I think it's so funny I don't know if you are your parents like that, or your parents were exactly like that and I'm the same way.
Speaker 1:Because of that, like how you are, I have big, open communication with my daughter. Granted, my daughter doesn't know 90% of the dumb shit that I have done and I hope that never comes up. But the communication I have with my parents is nothing like the communication I had and have with my daughter, especially when she was young. It wasn't about don't do that, don't do this, do this. I'm like why are you doing this? Let me, let me try to understand why, what you're thinking and where you're coming from. Yeah, so it gives them the opportunity to trust that they can talk to you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, instead of just being scolded right, because I didn't want to tell my mom anything, she's just like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like no, it wasn't like any, like there was no uh conversation or anything I'm like, even now, like the amount of times I apologize to my daughter I don't think my mom's ever told me sorry. But I tell my daughter sorry like all, like hey, mom is so stressed out, like I I'm sorry If I, you know, if I lose my shit, like I'm so sorry, like I tell her sorry all the time. Like, mommy, sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. My mom never told me I didn't mean to yell at you ever?
Speaker 2:She would never be like. I'm sorry I yelled Like I would never hear that from my mom, but I was just saying that my mom just came over and my daughter is so affectionate and so loving and so cuddly and my mom wasn't like that with me, Like she didn't like tell me like I love you. My daughter is like all over my mom, Like she's like grandma, like holding her. This is my grandma, this is my grandma.
Speaker 1:I love my grandma and my mom.
Speaker 2:I can touch her, so uncomfortable. She's sitting there, my daughter all over her, like trying to hug her, kiss her, and my mom's over there and she's sitting there I'm done like all over her, like trying to hug her, kiss her home and my mom's over there and she's like grandma, I love you. She's like my mom, like doesn't even know how to act and like it's so. It's just so funny how different it is and I feel different too, like because I'm like, yeah, like it wasn't like that with my mom, but then she has to see, like how I I don't know how different it is. I I don't know why, why it was so different. It's just normal that it wasn't. You weren't very like affectionate before.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean and our parents were a different generation Like my dad's own grumpy Korean local brother that like it's just you can't talk to him. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my daughter's just so affectionate. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:It's like one thing people in my opinion don't know about you that I know is, um, how much of a good friend you are to your friends and I know you go above and beyond and I've experienced it with you. How you are to Hanson, especially this past year when he had a little bit of turmoil and and he told, told me a lot of times how much you were there for him and how much you helped him through kind of his life challenges, especially this past year, and I was kind of blown away thinking like, wow, like Nikki's a super solid friend. I even remember at your at his wedding you were dying pretty much and you and you were, you showed up.
Speaker 2:Well, I honestly like that's just. I mean I'm not trying to be like brag or anything, but that's just I. I mean I'm not trying to be like brag or anything, but that's just how I am. I don't know why I'm. I think I'm like half people pleaser, but I really just ride for my people and Hanson was my like, one of my really good friends and he was there for me through a lot of things. So I feel like likewise you know what I mean like you're gonna do. I'm so lucky.
Speaker 2:A lot of people in the industry, um, I feel like one of my friends. She's like, um, she moved down here and she's like I don't really have like any friends like real, like she's having problems with people and I'm like because, like you know, it's hard to find when you're in the nightlife, it is hard to find real people, to find good friends. You are going to meet a lot of shady people because you're drinking, you're going out. A lot of people are only there for the happy times, right, they're only there for the party you to like go out, and they're not there in the dark times or in the real life stuff in the not clubbing scene. I was super blessed, in my opinion, that all of the people that I have made friends with in the nightlife I am still friends with today. They are like my great friends, like almost I consider my family.
Speaker 2:A lot of people that I worked with. I feel like I've met so much amazing people like in the scene and I love everybody that I work with. Like I consider everybody like my family and, yeah, like I would do anything for Hanson and I do feel like I would tell him, like you know, I'm so glad that like not glad, but the fact that that whatever has happened, that you know the kind of downs that like he's experiencing, I mean both of us. You know I'm like it. It's bad, but like brought us together as friends because, like you know, had he not be going through all of that, then we wouldn't be like hanging out so much or like now we gotta go to lunch. I'm like this is nice. Like it's sad that it had to take some crazy like life altering thing, but it's nice. I think it's nice like we get to like be friends again.
Speaker 1:You know, like hang out a lot, yeah, so I like it yeah, and I always I respected that about you and I definitely know that, like hansen, leaned on your friendship, like this past year as well, as well as all of us. Um future wise. Where do you see yourself in the future, like with your career or also as a mom?
Speaker 2:oh, um, I don't. What do you as a mom? I don't know. As a mom, I feel like the future seems very scary. I don't think I really think ahead when it comes to parenting, I guess, because I'm like, where do I see myself as a mom? I mean, I hope that you know, I don't know. It's so hard, I don't know where I see myself, but I am doing a million different things and I feel like it's just a really hard time right now for everything. Like everything's not really doing well, the economy's like bad and like everyone's kind of struggling. I'm struggling Like, but I am trying, like you know, to get into like different types of work so I can like venture outside of the type of stuff that I do. So hopefully you know what I mean Like I can move on to like better things, social standards, wise, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like it's like I, you know I have like the body sculpting and weight loss stuff. So I'm hoping that you know something takes off and all the nails. You know that maybe you know I won't be doing what I'm doing forever, but we'll see.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. I think with you you're somebody who hustles and I think you'll figure it out and yeah, I'm not, I'm definitely not afraid, because I'm not afraid to work when I have to.
Speaker 2:So I'm not like I know that, I know, I truly believe that, no matter what you do, if you really put in the work, like you truly put in the work, the time, the effort, like that, you'll be successful if you put in the work. But I think, people, what we lack in this generation is that is that nowadays people want everything to be easy. Because of social media, because of this, they want to snap your fingers and then, oh wow, I'm famous. Or oh, wow, my company is. You have to put in the work, like you said, like before, like the flyering, the things that people don't see when it comes to business.
Speaker 2:Everyone thinks today, because entrepreneurship is so common that you just snap your fingers and you are rich. No, but I truly believe, if you take that time and you actually you work and you invest and you take the time, you go out, you flyer, you promote, you talk to people, like whatever it is your business, you'll be successful if you truly put in the work. So I do feel like if I just work really hard, then something's gotta work right yeah, definitely, and you have a good work ethic, so I think it'll figure itself out.
Speaker 1:I think with you sky's the limit, like I think you haven't tapped into what you're potentially capable of. But I think you're in the direction and you're you. You're always uh fun to be around, fun to talk to, so your personality will always come out in whatever you do. Um, are you guys going out tonight or do you have your daughter?
Speaker 2:I do have my daughter. It's my daughter's birthday this weekend, so I'm like super crazy, but I'm keeping her like an extra week. Um, oh nice, so for her birthday, like to have her during I. I have people flying in today actually to come stay at my house for her birthday party. So, um, two of her. It's my best friend, but like she calls them her cousin, so it's like my family. So she's gonna have two other kids here. They're gonna have like the time of their life and, oh yeah, as soon as they leave, she's going to have two other kids here. They're going to have like the time of their life and as soon as they leave, she's going to her dad's house and then I'm coming out.
Speaker 1:Okay, Because Brian Lee's in town, we're taking him out tonight.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I saw him or I spoke to him recently, like about Vegas, but I heard he's doing so good yeah.
Speaker 1:He's doing super good. All right Vegas, but I heard he's doing so good, yeah, oh, he's doing super good, all right.
Speaker 2:well, I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to jump on my show.
Speaker 1:You're somebody I always wanted to have on and somebody I do appreciate and I I respect in the industry we're in. And, yeah, you always been to me personally. You always been solid. You always did what you said you were gonna do. You always been to me personally. You always been solid. You always did what you said you were gonna do. You always showed up to work and did your job and you're always someone super nice to me from the the very first time I met you, um, and you always supported artist group network and for me, that was huge yeah of course, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, where can people find you on social media?
Speaker 2:I don't even know. Oh, okay, I changed my Instagram name. Instagram Nikki Vibes XX. I'm like I don't even know because my Instagram keeps getting deleted, so I'm like I don't even know what my Instagram names are. But yeah, that's my Instagram.
Speaker 1:All right, and for us it's the same. My Instagram for the podcast is above the bridge podcast. Our YouTube channel is above the bridge podcast. My website is atbpodcom and my personal Instagram is daddy daddy Hi, All right. Well, hopefully I will see you out soon.
Speaker 2:You're always fun to hang out with and talk to in the club. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad to be on here. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Right on, I appreciate you. Okay, any shout outs or anything else. You want to say no, I think I'm okay. All right, we're out. Shout out to the artist group that worked, aloha, you.
